Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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