why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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