found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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