so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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