More tranny stories later!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
