CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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