he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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