i would punch a child for taco bell
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize