i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
