sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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