i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
