all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
