We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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