One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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