Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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