I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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