I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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