your thong is hanging out like whoa
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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