The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
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I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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