It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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