Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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