Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize