How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
