Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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