whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
