seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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