I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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