Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize