I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Are these your boobs on my camera?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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