saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
