He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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