Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
