Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
