I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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