sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
