dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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