you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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