u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Naked. naked and bneed help.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
