You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
