it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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