But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
