I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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