and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
