why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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