Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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