I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So vagazzling was a success
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
