My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
