I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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