I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
