Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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