Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
