Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
