I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
