with your own penis?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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