I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
