How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
