she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
