ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
