Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
