I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
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well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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